Stealing a line from Ozma: This game is over.


I started this blog in June 2001 writing about Mexican food and a Taco Mafia. A surprising four years later, this site has long since run its course. As of today, there will be no more posts. If you want to know what’s going on with me, you’ll actually have to pick up a phone or send me some email.


Jill and I are getting married this weekend and I’m as excited as one can be. I hope I don’t cry. That would pretty much be the lamest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve been known to get a little misty-eyed at the end of the movie Rudy, so I’m guessing the wedding might send me over the edge.

From as early as I can remember, I never wanted to get married. I looked around at other married couples and I didn’t see why people would choose to go through with it. As I grew older, I started to date and that only compounded my anti-marriage feelings. Relationships seemed to be filled with a few ups and way too many gut-wrenching downs. I just didn’t understand why anybody would commit to that. Without marriage, I knew I could just pick up and move on after one too many nonsensical emotional outbursts.


Jill and I went to the same high school, but never knew eachother. She maintains that, once she knew who I was, she just assumed that I was pretentious and stuck-up. At some point my girlfriend-at-the-time asked me to get Jill a job at Dillards. I obliged, Jill starting working with me, and a great friendship was born. We were friends for quite a while until the eventual dissolution of our prior relationships. It was at that point that people started trying to get me to take our friendship to the next step. George pushed pretty hard and probably deserves the most credit for moving things in the right direction. Derek added words that probably aren’t fit for print about what he’d do if he were in my shoes. There were all-night sessions of listening to music and watching bad television and I realized that, in spite of my disdain for dating, we had something that appeared to work.

I think it was mid-March when I dropped the infamous:
Ken – Jill
Jill – Yeah?
Ken – Uh…Uh
Jill – What?
Ken – I think you’re swell.
Jill – Swell?
Ken – Uh, yeah. I think you’re swell. You know?

Two days later I was at a party with some of her friends when one of her roommate’s boyfriends walks up to me and says, “Kenny, you’re swell.” That was a tough pill to swallow. I’m glad I’m taking myself off of the market. After saying something that retarded, I’m quite thankful that I never have to hit on girls again. Seriously - swell? Who talks like that? Not to be forgotten is my semi-inebriated 30-minute falling in love monologue at Rick’s wedding. She spent the entire thing just staring blankly at me.


We’ve been hanging out ever since and she seems totally OK with all of my quirks. I burp, I fart, I lick my plate after eating, I watch too much sports on TV, I don’t cook, and I’m more than a bit wrapped up in myself. Oddly enough, she seems to embrace all of this stuff. I think the secret to our success is that we don’t take ourselves too seriously. I can’t remember a time where we’ve been mad at one another for more than two minutes. Life is all about looking at the big picture and we simply haven’t seen anything worth getting mad about. From Day 1, the entire relationship has been like something you might see in a super-cheesy movie. Spending all of my time with Jill changed my mind about marriage. It was almost as if somebody just flipped a switch in my head.


I couldn’t possibly be anymore excited about the rest of my life.


Take care of yourselves and those around you.

Last night I spoke to an old co-worker of mine from my days at Dillards.

I have to say, of all the people I’ve ever met, Vicki Ware ranks near the top of the list. She worked with me during a somewhat unstable period of my life as I was finishing up college. She was always very supportive and offered words of encouragement. I used to get pretty stressed out while balancing 40 hour weeks at work and 17 credit hours at school, all the while dealing with rather combative personalities in other parts of my life. She treated me like she treated her own kids. If I did or said something stupid, I certainly heard about it. I don’t think I ever really let her know how important a role she played in my life.

We kept in contact for quite a while after I moved on to Allstate, but eventually lost touch after she moved out-of-state. Jill and I wanted to invite her to the wedding, but had no idea how to locate her. We ended up finding an address on the internet, crossed our fingers that it was the right Vicki Ware, and sent the invitation.

Long story short - she can’t make the trip back to SC this weekend, but she was somehow able to get her phone number to Jill’s parents. I spoke to her yesterday evening and all is well with her. She has got to be one of the most caring people I’ve ever met. Perhaps one day she’ll Google her name and read about the impact she’s had on my life.

Today marks the kickoff for The O.C.
So yes, today is huge for me. I will spend my day looking forward to that 1-hour slice of televised heaven. The only show that could rival this kind of excitement is Scrubs. Sadly, Scrubs most likely won’t be back on the air until November.

I have to admit, I’m pretty pumped up about the wedding. At first I was somewhat skeptical of the size of this thing, as I would have been OK with getting married at the courthouse. I’m glad we didn’t go that route though. It looks to be a flippin’ sweet time. The reception will be full of awesomely bad 80’s tunes, poor dancing skills, and a Lopes’ requested chicken dance. Good times, no doubt, will be had by all.

A lot of people have been asking if I’m nervous. I tend to think that this is a really silly question. Have you met Jill? Could I possibly be with anyone more laid back? Impossible, I say.
For whatever reason, she is quite enamored with me as well.


Running is going very well at the moment. Rick and I put in 13 miles last Sunday and are shooting for 16 this Sunday. Our times are getting quicker while our heartrates are getting lower. Running machines – that’s what we are. I’ve already dropped down to my preferred marathon weight of sub-140. I figure I’ll put less wear and tear on my joints if I’m carrying fewer pounds.


This blog is getting laid to rest sometime next week. I hate the term “blog’ and I look forward to never using it again.

Crazy times right now...

There was an abundance of karaoke performed last Saturday in Charleston. For my money, not much tops Lopes singing Pulp’s Common People or George offending the masses with The Bloodhound Gang’s Ballad of Chasey Lane. I started off with I’m Too Sexy before reuniting Jonas for a very moving rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. All in all, the outing to the karaoke bar was pretty epic.


Yesterday was the start of football season and Spurrier started things off with 14 points in 7 minutes. Things cooled down after that though and the game got quite boring.
It felt weird to be going nuts over a football game when thousands of dead people are floating down the street a few states over. It definitely put a damper on things. The images from television are some of the worst I've ever seen in this country. Thoughts and prayers for all of those people…


Tonight might feature an evening of Scrabble with Whitey and his new bride over at our house. They are in for a beatdown of legendary proportions.

Pulling the very rare double-post today...


USC kicks off their season at 7:30 Thursday evening in a nationally televised contest on ESPN. People are starting to get pretty excited around here, but nobody more so than my friend Whitey. Tailgating is his passion and he's about to burst with anticipation. Proof can be found in the email he just sent me, copied and pasted for your pleasure...

Here's a rough draft of the itinerary:

Meet up-------------------------------------------245
Depart Roost------------------------------------245-300
Arrive at Spot------------------------------------315
Set up ---------------------------------------------315-330
Crack open drinks/throw ball around--- 330-415
Crank up the grille-----------------------------415-445
Eat--------------------------------------------------445-500
Crack open more drinks/throw ball------500-600
Close up shop----------------------------------600-615
Walk into Stadium----------------------------615-625
Choose seats-----------------------------------625-630


I especially like the part where he allotted time for me to play with the football.

I just watched one of the best music videos that I've seen in ages. I'd put it right up near the top with Weezer's Buddy Holly and Wax's California.

The band is OK GO and the song is A Million Ways. Click the link and look for a link to the video on the left side of the page.

Without a doubt, it will be the best 3 minutes you spend today.

The house is painted, at least for the moment. I’m fairly certain that Jill is soon going to push for both a painted hallway and master bathroom. One of our neighbors showed up yesterday with some steaming hot cookies that she baked and said that she wanted to welcome us to the neighborhood. I seriously had no idea that people still do things like that. I guess that’s how people roll in the land of soccer moms and minivans.
I’m fairly certain that she was about to ask if my parents were home when I opened the door.


Saturday night’s shower at the lake was fantastic. Highlights included winning at Trivia Pursuit, receiving tons of free stuff, and repeatedly having my manhood questioned by Laina.

While opening gifts, I felt the need to entertain and dropped a few gems…
Upon receiving an electric screwdriver – “I love to screw!”
Upon receiving a garden hose – “I’ve always wanted hos for my wedding!”


For those in attendance, click this link to see pictures of yourself. Look for the link that says view pictures without signing in.

Yesterday Jill and I spent more money than we’ve ever spent in our lives…

Dining room table? Check
Living room set? Check
Bedroom set? Check
Fridge? Check
Washer? Check
Dryer? Check
House? Check


Like any good man would, I immeadiately marked my territory within 5 minutes of being in the house. While proudly sitting atop my new porcelain throne, I noticed that a wall length mirror enables me to look at myself while I take care of business. That, my friends, is not a pretty picture.

I’ve grown tired of this blog and I’m pretty sure that I’m going to retire this thing the week before the wedding. Its been going strong in this form since June of 2001. There was an earlier incarnation but those posts have long since been lost in cyberspace. The highlight of those posts was the story about getting loaded at an AC/DC concert, getting topless, stealing an industrial sized arena broom, and playing air broom down the aisles of the Bi-Lo Center.


Kings of Leon were quite solid the other night. I feel asleep around 3:15am and was up by 5:45am for a 10 miler with Rick. He again ran solid. He was able to take 13 minutes off of his 5 mile time over the course of 34 days. I’m not sure that I’ve ever even heard of anyone doing that.


It appears as though I’ll be closing on the house tomorrow. That should be interesting. I hope all goes well and that there aren’t any surprises.


Weekends are pretty much full from this point forward. I’ll be painting bedrooms this weekend, with the only break coming in the form of a couples shower being thrown for us at Rick’s place on Saturday night. I’m told that everyone invited is planning to attend. I’m not sure why people like us but I’m glad they do.
The following weekend will see me on a deep sea fishing trip out of Charleston. All credit for organizing this goes to Rick and Derek. I think Derek would have preferred Vegas, but I have always wanted to go on a deep sea fishing trip. Apparently our voyage will be 12 hours and will take us into the gulf stream…Lopes says it could take 3 hours to actually get there. I’m praying that I catch a wahoo, solely so I can scream “Waaaahooooooooo” at the top of my lungs.

Wedding invitations are out and RSVP cards are starting to come back.
I’m allegedly closing on my house next Thursday.
I need a marriage license.
Jill needs to be added to my auto and medical insurance.
Mileage is really starting to pick up for my marathon training.


To say the least, it’s a crazy time.

It appears as though a trip to the HOB at Myrtle Beach will be added to the equation for this weekend. The Kings of Leon are playing and I’ve wanted to see them since I got their first EP in February 2003.